info@safehomegno.com
Domestic Abuse
What is domestic abuse?
Domestic violence is ‘any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional.
- physical abuse
- sexual abuse
- financial abuse
- coercive control / emotional abuse
- digital/online abuse
- honour-based violence
- forced marriage
- female genital mutilation (FGM).
Get help now
If you need to speak to someone, we’re available every day, night, and day. Find out the different ways you can.
Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse
All relationships are different. There isn’t such a thing as a ‘normal’ relationship, but there are healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships. If you feel unsafe or recognise any of the negative signs below, take action. We support all survivors of domestic abuse, regardless of whether the abuse has been reported or when it took place. Our support services are free, confidential and available to anyone who has experienced domestic violence.
Contact us 0594941430
- They always treat me with respect, no matter where we are or we’re with
- They’re proud of me when I achieve something.
- They encourage me to keep trying things I find hard.
- They’re comfortable with me spending time away from them, with family and other friends.
- They try to do some of the things I like, such as sports, cinema and music.
- They respect me when I say no or disagree.
- They can talk about their feelings with me.
- They don’t cheat on me and trust me not to cheat on them.
- They listen to me when we disagree and try to see my point of view.
- They give me compliments and say positive things about me to others.
- They have friends and interests of their own.
- They don’t rush our relationship; we can take it slow.
- They ask my opinion when deciding on important things that affect us both.
- hey make threats and do things just to scare me.
- They put me down just to make me feel bad when we’re alone or around friends.
- They make me do things that I don’t want to do without listening to me.
- They make me feel guilty if I don’t spend time with them.
- They don’t try to get on with my friends or family.
- They hit, slap or push me.
- They look through my phone, social media or web history.
- They want to know where I am all the time.
- They cheat on me or accuse me of cheating on them.
- They steal from me or make me buy them things.
- They make me have sex when I don’t want to.
All relationships are different and depending on your situation, you may need specialist t help and support. Early warning signs Relationships impact on us a lot. It’s really important if you’re beginning to feel unsafe that you look at what’s causing it.
How do you know if you’re feeling unsafe?
- You’re becoming a lot more critical of yourself — thinking you are stupid or fat or very lucky to have a partner.
- You give up on your own opinions and think your partner is right about everything.
- You’re feeling more stressed or worried all the time; you feel nauseous or have bad butterflies. Sometimes stress can also stop us from eating and sleeping properly, or cause us to have headaches.
- You have that ‘dreaded’ feeling more often.
- You’re scared of how your partner will react to a situation.
- You avoid saying something because you don’t want to upset your partner.
- You feel scared when your partner is angry because you can’t predict their behaviour.
- You’re feeling pressure to change who you are or move the relationship further than you want to.
- You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
- You’re staying in more and seeing less of family and friends to avoid arguments with your partner.
Why do people stay in abusive relationships?
There are lots of different reasons why people stay in abusive relationships.
You might feel frightened to leave, as you worry that the person abusing you will try and stop you, and become even more violent. You might also rely on the person abusing you for practical or financial support, or you worry about losing your home and access to your children. You may enjoy the good times you have with them and keep hoping it won’t happen again. Never forget that it is a crime for someone you know to abuse you in your own home or anywhere else — whether they are your partner, a family member or someone you share your home with. Whatever the person abusing you might say, physical and emotional violence like this is never your fault. Nobody has the right to abuse you in this way. You may be made to feel responsible and guilty for the abuse, but the source of the problem is the abuser, not you.
Get help
If you recognise any of the early warning signs in your relationship then there are people who can listen and help you decide your next steps. You might not want or feel able to end your relationship at the moment, but you must get help to end the abuse. Without intervention, it’s unlikely that the abuse will stop on its own.There are many ways that you can ask for help and you don’t always need to report to the police.
- A trusted family member or friend – remember they might not react in the way you expect as they’re not trained in domestic abuse. However, getting the support of a friend to go with you to a specialist agency can be an important first step.
- Safe Home. We’re independent of the police and here to support you for as long as it takes. Call or email our free Supportline info@safehome.com and 0594-9214-30 to talk to us in confidence.
- This is a 24-hour confidential helpline where you can talk anonymously and ask for general information, advice and guidance.
Common questions
- Many survivors of domestic abuse have faced similar questions and barriers in asking for help; here are just some of the most common challenges that survivors have shared with us.
- I’m scared that if I do anything, it will get worse. There’s often a high level of violence and threat in relationships where domestic abuse is present and this can be intensified if there are children in the household.
- If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, Safe Home and other specialist agencies can help you to think through your options and safety plan to ensure that, whatever decision you make, there are safeguards and support in place for you and your family members.
What if I don’t want to split my family up?
This is a common worry for people experiencing domestic abuse. Ending a relationship will impact children, but research shows that children living in families where domestic abuse is present are at a much greater risk of both physical and emotional abuse. Making sure that you and your children are physically and emotionally safe is the priority.
I’m worried about involving the police
Police services aim to support the person affected by domestic abuse to ensure their safety and that of their children or vulnerable adults. Their focus is to help the non-abusive parent continue to care effectively for their child or children.
What if nobody believes me?
Safe home will always believe a survivor of domestic abuse asking for help, and we will work with you to identify other forms of support that might be needed. Statutory agencies, such as the police and social services, are trained to recognise the signs of domestic abuse and respond appropriately.
I’m scared that I couldn’t cope if I left
Many people who experience domestic abuse worry that asking for help means they’ll be expected to leave their abuser. Organisations like including Safe home will work with you to help you think through your options and choices.
If you decide to leave, we can help you source financial, accommodation, health and legal support, and educational support for your children. Whatever your decision, safety planning is important; we will help you to build your support network and take action to keep you and your children safe.
What if it’s my child who is doing this?
Adolescent to parent violence and abuse (APVA) is increasingly becoming recognised as an area where families need support.
It can be caused by many different things and it’s often difficult for parents to ask for help when the violence they are experiencing is coming from their child. But it’s important for the child and other members of the family that support and interventions are provided to keep everyone safe and to stop the violence from increasing or extending outside of the home.
Other concerns
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- people who practice certain religions
- people who have physical disabilities
- people with learning difficulties
- people who have mental health issues.
- Lots of people in the above groups will have many of the same experiences as others in an unhealthy relationship.
Get in touch: we can help
When you report a crime to the police, they should automatically ask you if you would like help from an organisation like a safe home. But anyone affected by crime can contact us directly if they want to – you don’t need to talk to the police to get our help.
You can contact us by: Calling our Support line on 0594922530 or emailing us at info@safehome.com
- Many survivors of domestic abuse have faced similar questions and barriers in asking for help; here are just some of the most common challenges that survivors have shared with us.I’m scared that if I do anything, it will get worse.
- There’s often a high level of violence and threat in relationships where domestic abuse is present and this can be intensified if there are children in the household.
- If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, Safe Home and other specialist agencies can help you to think through your options and safety plan to ensure that, whatever decision you make, there are safeguards and support in place for you and your family members.
What if I don’t want to split my family up?
This is a common worry for people experiencing domestic abuse. Ending a relationship will impact children, but research shows that children living in families where domestic abuse is present are at a much greater risk of both physical and emotional abuse.
Making sure that you and your children are physically and emotionally safe is the priority.
I’m worried about involving social services
Social services aim to support the person affected by domestic abuse to ensure their safety and that of their children or vulnerable adults. Their focus is to help the non-abusive parent continue to care effectively for their child or children.
Social services can help to find local organisations that can support you and your children, including housing, health services and domestic abuse support services. If children or vulnerable adults are living in homes where domestic abuse is present, agencies have to inform social services so that this support can be offered.
What if nobody believes me?
Safe Home and other victims’ organisations will always believe a survivor of domestic abuse asking for help, and we will work with you to identify other forms of support that might be needed.
Statutory agencies, such as the police and social services, are trained to recognise the signs of domestic abuse and respond appropriately.
I’m scared that I couldn’t cope if I left
Many people who experience domestic abuse worry that asking for help means they’ll be expected to leave their abuser. Organisations like including Safe Home will work with you to help you think through your options and choices.
If you decide to leave, we can help you source financial, accommodation, health and legal support, and educational support for your children. Whatever your decision, safety planning is important; we will help you to build your support network and take action to keep you and your children safe.
Work with us
We are committed to supporting victims and witnesses of domestic abuse, whether or not they have reported it to the police. We are constantly exploring new ways to deliver improved services with better outcomes for victims, but we know we can’t do this alone.
We welcome opportunities to work in partnership, whether designing and delivering services together, developing and sharing training and research, or working with a corporate partner with a shared vision to improve support for victims of crime.
- Research the impact on victims and children witnesses of domestic abuse.
- Source funding for services, to improve outcomes for victims of domestic abuse.